Saturday, April 3, 2004

The sick mind of Sharon von Zwieten. Fridays are for smut and any paper other than The Christian Science Monitor. Amazing.

Morning papers and the tabloids after the break.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BROWN: Okie-dokie, time to check morning papers from around the country. It's Friday, we'll throw in a tabloid or two. But the tabloid is particularly disgusting, OK? I'm just warning you now. The Batboy makes a return appearance.

"International Herald Tribune" published by "The New York Times" in Paris.
"Miami Herald"
"The Chattanooga Times Free Press"
"The Boston Herald
"The Philadelphia Inquirer"

OK.

On to the tabloids, "The Weekly World News." How much time do I got? That's just plenty. "On TV's new 'Bachelorette,' a 500 super pound model. Will reality show help queen size lovely find man of her dreams?" Come on, that's not nice. That's not nice. And 30? I've got a couple others here I like. I mentioned Batboy. You can't really mention Batboy enough. We should call him Sir Batboy now, because Batboy is going to be knighted. There's a picture. Batboy with the queen. That is the queen. And that is Batboy. I got them in the right order there. So that -- We're pretty proud of Batboy. We think of him as our own. The weather tomorrow in Chicago is "whee!" by the way, as in excited.

Did anyone read ANYTHING from The Christian Science Monitor? No, of course not, tonight is smut night.